Single to SULLY In 7 Seconds

When did Single become synonymous with sully? Has it been true throughout history that bachelors are inevitably messy people?

This question came to me as I begin the process of listing and selling my house. I have come to realize that it is a lot of work keeping your house clean enough to sell--especially when you live alone. But what about those "singles" who aren't forced to keep their happy abode neat? And please understand, I mean messy not necessarily dirty, though some of us are innately dirty as well (present company NOT included--I can handle clutter, but not dirt.)

Here's an example. I have a friend, who we'll call B for anonymity's sake, who is single--that is, he lives alone-- and has no children. The other day I went to his house to visit, and as I entered his front door, I was blasted with smell of rancid baby puke and floor cleaner.

I instantly recalled a conversation we'd had just the week prior about the jug of milk in his refrigerator that had an expiration date of sometime in October. Low and behold, the rotten milk ate through the plastic container and leaked down the front of the refrigerator and onto the kitchen floor (hence the floor cleaner smell.)

And this isn't a rarity with him, or me for that matter. If you opened my refrigerator today you would find 2 or 3 dishes with some now mysterious left-overs in them and probably some moldy cheese. And though I've never had food go so bad that it actually ate thought the container it was in, I've had my share of fuzzy fruit and lumpy milk.

But the refrigerator isn't the only problem. Just looking around my kitchen you will usually find dishes in the sink, the bread has gone moldy, and my potatoes have grown something resembling "little albino old man" legs. You know, those crazy little tentacles that oddly sprout from your potato when you're not watching.

If you were to then venture from my kitchen to my living room you'd find that my dog, Murry, has decided to annihilate a paper towel or wrapper that has fallen to the floor. He's a long-haired Dachsund, so he basically looks like an Irish Setter with no legs. He's such a "low-rider", that when he walks he proceed to carry everything under him, with him. So needless to say, my living room floor will sometimes be covered in leaves or those annoying "balls" that fall from the Sycamore tree I have out back.

From there you could see that my bedroom has a few articles of dirty clothes in the chair next to my bed (because of course the laundry hamper is full of clean clothes waiting to be folded and put away.) The bed hasn't been made and my 12 year old cat may have decided this day was a good one to puke up a hair ball smack dab in the middle of the room-- oh joy! The bath room is buried in all my hair and make-up "stuff" and I never seem to be able to get the damned toilet paper roll in it's proper place. It ends up instead on the floor next to the toilet.

I know a few bachelors who are "neat as a pin," as Senator Biden would say, so I don't know if messiness is a god given right of single people, but it sure seems that the majority of us live in a clean / messy dichotomy. Their house might be clean only for special occasions or there may be special rooms that are maintained while the rest of the house is a disaster. Or maybe you're the weekend warrior type (like me) who goes "balls to the wall" for 2 days each week and then just let it all slide the rest of the week.

Like I said earlier, I am selling my house for my move to Boise. This requires that every nook and cranny be clean and neat. After spending a week scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, and shampooing, I now know why people let this stuff go. It's alot of work. Especially alone-there's no "honey-do" lists; no delegation. Especially if you are like me and work A LOT of hours every week. I feel like I spend my whole life working and cleaning.

Well forgot that! I am too busy, too tired, and too bored with cleaning.

I hired Merry Maids today.

Ahhhh someone else can deal with being neat for me. Maybe being an un-tidy bachelor isn't so bad after all.