Failure

You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down.


Mary Pickford

ABOUT MARY PICKFORDFrom a very early age, MARY PICKFORD was determined to become a success. If she set her mind on something, Mary would not give up until she was in the door, and had the chance to prove herself. Whether she was surprising Toronto audiences at the age of five, auditioning for David Belasco, or convincing D.W. Griffith that she was worth more than any of the other stock performers in his Biograph company, Mary believed in her ability to overcome all obstacles.Her ambition may have stemmed from a need to survive in troubled times, but her innate talent is what made Mary Pickford one of the most incredible performers on screen, and her head for business made her one of the greatest perfectionists in the history of film.

Code Name: Tulip

I have a confession. I live a secret life. A life that only a handful of people know about. Its a life not many understand.

I am a video game junky. This is something I usually don't readily share with many people. In my normal life, I am a 31 year old accomplished professional--an experienced business woman. To share that I love to gun down an opponent at point blank range on my 25' monitor is somewhat embarrassing, and maybe even considered juvenile to some. And this certainly would not be understood by one of my 70 year old clients. I don't even know that my 30 year friends can understand the pleasure I derive from *snipping* an opponent from a hidden vantage point.

Now, you could easily explain this strange phenomenon away by saying that I must just crave and enjoy the violence, and Lord knows, that for some odd, very unfeminine, unwoman-like reason, I do enjoy the violence. I like the blood and guts (the more the better), it's true; sick and true. But the truth is I like all sorts of video games. Give me a real good sim or strategy game, even a puzzle, and you're likely to lose me for hours, if not days. There's something more there for me then just the violence.

Like everything else in life (just kidding mom,) I can blame some of this habit on my parents. I grew up in a household that looked a little different than most of my peers. My dad not only bought us a video game system for Christmas, he sat down and played it with us. He eventually stopped buying them for us all together and just bought them for himself. To this day, he still plays and owns the latest and greatest Xbox. And though I think he's currently a little addicted (the pot calling the kettle black, blah blah) to gaming, it's one the the things I've always loved most about my dad. That, and the fact that he watches South Park with me, and once yelled at the top of him lungs from a Hampton Inn window "I am the Great Cornholio, I need TP for my bunghole!"

So its in my genes a little bit. And I grew up on video games. I started on a Colleco (sp) System when I was in the 3rd grade, and my friend next door had the Atari. We played games like Asteroids, and Pit Fall for hours on end. I graduated to the Nintendo in Middle School. This is when I first learned that I was pretty good at video gaming. I later moved on to the Super Nintendo and then, after high school, had an epiphany! My cousin introduced me to the genre of Computer Gaming, and shareware-god bless it! He turned me on to my still all-time favorite games, Duke Nukem. It changed me forever.

I grew up with video games and I am good at them too. I'm also a woman, and up until the last 10 years there weren't many of us out there--female gamers that is. Things are different now, especially with the existence of video game consoles, but we're still a minority. In high school I came to love the amount of respect I could command from an entire room of guys by beating them on the Nintendo. I began to harvest a lust for kicking the ass of some cocky guy who thought I couldn't play Serious Sam or Command & Conquer because I was "a girl."I loved racking up the *kills*. It became a competition. A huge Adrenalin rush, and yet extremely relaxing as well. When my marriage began going south a few years ago, gaming became an escape; a place where I could hide from reality. It wasn't a crutch, like a drug so much, but a conscious decision to not deal with the life in front of me-- a comfort from the stresses of day to day life.

My life is different today. I don't play video games quite as much as I used, but I do still play. I no longer feel the same need to live in fantasy, versus reality. But I do still love a graphic First Person Shooter. The bloodier the better.

I don't know why. Please don't think me juvenile. Please try not to judge me. And boy oh boy, don't dare cross my path on-line playing a game like Unreal Tournament. You'll recognize me by my code name, Tulip.

I'll be the one pickin' ya off from a mile away, with a smile.

2006 Best Headlines

THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006...enjoy!

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

Imagine that--Which end were they looking at?

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Isn't that something?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalker

Making punishment fit the crime

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Whaaat??

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy.

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Those unions, what will they gripe about next?

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial.

War Dims Hope for Peace

It DOES have that effect, doesn't it?

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

This headline PEGGED the obvious meter...

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thunk it...

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect
Homicide

They may be on to something.

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

Lightning has that affect on some people...

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

WOW. Weren't they fat enough?

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans.

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

...and they taste just like chicken, too.

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they good at basketball, too.And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Not one of them complained, though.

Dedicated to Dirty Dan

I was going to save this poem for another day when my "Lame-Brainedness" kicked in again like it did Saturday and I can't think of anything interesting to write about. However, I learned recently that Dan over at Dan's Blah Blah Blog has never heard of Shel Silverstein. And this has been one of my favorite poems since I was a kid.

Forgive me for flooding this blog with poems from Shel-- But I had to dedicate this one to my dear friend Dan! Please visit his site, you'll understand the irony of this poem! The only simularity is the name-- I hope !












DIRTY DAN

Oh I'm Dirty Dan, the world's dirtiest man,
I never have taken a shower.
I can't see my shirt--It's so covered with dirt,
And my ears have enough to grow flowers.


But the water is either a little too hot,
Or else it's a little too cold.


I'm musty and dusty and patchy and scratchy
And mangy and covered with mold.
But the water is always a little too hot,
Or else it's a little too cold.



I live in a pen with five hogs and a hen
And three squizzley lizards who creep in
My bed, and they itch as I squirm, and I twitch
In the cruddy old sheets that I sleep in.




If you looked down my throat with a flashlight, you'd note
That my insides are coated with rust.
I creak when I walk and I squeak when I talk,
And each time I sneeze I blow dust.




The thought of a towel and some soap makes me howl,
And when people have something to tell me
They don't come and tell it-- they stand back and yell it.
I think they're afraid they might smell me.




The bedbugs that leap on me sing me to sleep,
And the garbage flies buzz me awake.
They're the best friend I've found and I fear they might drown
So I ever go too near a lake.




Each evening at nine I sit down to dine
With the termites who live in my chair,
And I joke with the bats and have intimate chats
With the cooties who crawl through my hair.




I'd brighten my life if I just found a wife,
But I fear that that never will be
Until I can find a girl, gently and kind,
With a beautiful face and a sensitive mind,
Who sparkles and twinkles and glistens and shines--
And who' almost as dirty as me!
-Shel Silverstein, "Where the Sidewalk Ends"

Anywhere and Nowhere or Somewhere in between

On many occasions, I've been asked the question, "so where did you grow up?" For a long time, this question caused me pause, and sometimes even rendered me silent for a few moments while I'd try to formulate a simple answer to this very simple question. When asked this, most people can answer quickly and confidently. They know what the question means and can easily tell you the name 0f the town they grew up in.

You see, I was an Air Force Brat growing up. We moved many times, living in 5 different states and spending a short time overseas. It had become a family joke that we had moved (some of these moved before I was born) 16 times by the time we had made it to our final stop in Washington State.



I was born in Riverside, CA, but since we lived there for only a matter of months, and I--of course-- have no recollection of this city, it surely can only be thought of as the place I was born, not where I grew up.

Not long after I was born, my family was moved to the Philippines and was stationed at Clark Air Force Base. This would be the first place I have any cognitive memories of a place where we lived. I can remember the sirens going off in the middle of the night as the base was shut down to catch a King Cobra that had gotten in. And I can remember that the windows had no glass, only shutters that you left open at night to allow the lizards in. They ate the bugs.

But we moved again less than 2 years after arriving there. This again, can't really be considered where I grew up, can it? I only lived there until I was 2.

We moved back to the states and settled in Chesapeake VA as my dad went to school at the George Washington University. This too was a short stay; less than 2 years. I have almost no memory of this place except that we had docks behind our back yard where we could feed the ducks. I was attacked by one and it scarred me for life!

After that we moved to Omaha NE. Now I begin to remember a lot more about the places we lived. I remember my brother who was 14 at the time, decided it would be a good idea to tear up the Officer's Greens with some friends. We were kicked of base and had to move to a house in a suburb. We spent almost 3 years here. Though I went to kindergarten and 1st grade in Omaha, I still don't think it constitutes being considered "where I grew up."




My dad finished school and left the military and again we moved. This time to South Dakota. What an experience this was. We lived in a town of 100 people on the Missouri River called Pukwana and had to ride the bus for 45 minutes to go to school "in town." I spent 7 years here and of course, have a multitude of memories from this place. I remember digging up Indian Arrowheads and beads from the back yard and snow that would drift so deep, we would find clothes lines when we dug tunnels in it. But yet again, my family moved after my freshman year in high school.


We ended up in South Bend WA. Of all the places I lived, I disliked this one the most. Actually, I hated it there. My graduating class had just 28 people, and it rained incessantly! Our little harbor town recieved more rain than the Olympia Nat'l Rain Forest. I left 2 weeks after I graduated and moved to where I currently live in Eastern WA. Even if someone was to suggest that this is where I grew up ( I did spend 3 of my 4 high school years there,) I'd refuse to believe it out of sheer hate.




So where did I grew up? Anywhere or Nowhere or Somewhere in between?
Is it true that "home is where the heart is" or maybe "where I grew up," is wherever I was at at any given time in my adolescence. Sure. But how do you answer someone making small talk who askes,
"Where did you grow up?"

BATTLE IN THE SKY

BATTLE IN THE SKY

Shel Silverstein

It wasn't quite day and it wasn't quite night,
'Cause the sun and the moon were both in sight,
A situation quite all right
With everyone else but them.

So they both made remarks about who gave more light
And who was the brightest and prettiest sight,
And the sun gave a bump and the moon gave a bite,
And the terrible sky fight began.

With a scorch and a sizzle, a screech and a shout,
Across the great heavens they tumbled about,
And the moon had a peice of the sun in its mouth,
While the sun burned the face of the moon.

And when it was over the moon was rubbed red,
And the sun had a very bad lump on its head,
And all the next night the moon stayed home in bed,
And the sun didn't come out 'til noon.

A Good Reason To Be Broke

This story was sent to me by a good friend and it kind of freaked me out. I am forever looking for reasons to justify being broke, but this one takes the cake. I find this scary on so many levels-- not that I have anything to hide, really!

And who knew the Canadians were so 007'ish? I suddenly have a new found respect for our Northern cousins!

Moral of this story, spend all your money before they can find you!

WASHINGTON (AP) - Money talks, but can it also follow your movements?

Updated: 12:43 p.m. PT Jan 11, 2007

In a U.S. government warning high on the creepiness scale, the Defense Department cautioned its American contractors over what it described as a new espionage threat: Canadian coins with tiny radio frequency transmitters hidden inside.
The government said the mysterious coins were found planted on U.S. contractors with classified security clearances on at least three separate occasions between October 2005 and January 2006 as the contractors traveled through Canada.
Intelligence and technology experts said such transmitters, if they exist, could be used to surreptitiously track the movements of people carrying the spy coins.
The U.S. report doesn’t suggest who might be tracking American defense contractors or why. It also doesn’t describe how the Pentagon discovered the ruse, how the transmitters might function or even which Canadian currency contained them.
Further details were secret, according to the U.S. Defense Security Service, which issued the warning to the Pentagon’s classified contractors. The government insists the incidents happened, and the risk was genuine.
“What’s in the report is true,” said Martha Deutscher, a spokeswoman for the security service. “This is indeed a sanitized version, which leaves a lot of questions.”

"We Put the Lime in the Coconut...."

What Happens When You Have... 1) Nothing to do 2) A sharp knife 3) A large lime 4) A patient cat 5) Too much tequila 6) And it's football season?

**(This one might warrant using the "Tragic Mutual Incomprehension" phrase !!)

"Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain!"

Yesterday I read an article about Stephen Hawking's planned space flight on Richard Branson's Virgin Galastic in 2009. It reminded me of his purported conversation with Pope John Paul II regarding creation and the beginning of time. I find Stephen Hawking fascinating and if you haven't had the opportunity yet, I highly recommend reading "A Brief History of Time." His life story is pretty interesting as well.
Considering he should have died long ago, I wonder if he'll actually make it to the 2009 launch date??
Stephen Hawking says pope told him not to study beginning of universe

Posted 6/15/2006 9:17 AM ET HONG KONG (AP) — World-renowned astrophysicist Stephen Hawking said Thursday that the late Pope John Paul II once told scientists they should not study the beginning of the universe because it was the work of God. Hawking, author of the best-seller A Brief History of Time, said John Paul made the comments at a cosmology conference at the Vatican. He did not say when the meeting was held. Hawking quoted the pope as saying, "It's OK to study the universe and where it began. But we should not inquire into the beginning itself because that was the moment of creation and the work of God." The scientist then joked that he was glad John Paul did not realize that he had presented a paper at the conference suggesting how the universe began. "I didn't fancy the thought of being handed over to the Inquisition like Galileo," Hawking said during a sold-out audience at Hong Kong University of Science and Technology. The church condemned Galileo in the 17th century for supporting Nicholas Copernicus' discovery that the Earth revolved around the sun. Church teaching at the time placed Earth at the center of the universe. But in 1992, Pope John Paul II issued a declaration saying the church's denunciation of Galileo was an error resulting from "tragic mutual incomprehension." Hawking is one of the best-known theoretical physicists of his generation. He has done groundbreaking research on black holes and the origins of the universe, and he proposes that space and time have no beginning and no end. During a question-and-answer session, Hawking was asked where constants like gravity come from and whether gravity can distort light. But there were several humorous moments. The wheelchair-bound Hawking, who suffers from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, communicates with an electronic speech synthesizer. Hawking was asked why his computerized voice has an American accent. "The voice I use is a very old hardware speech synthesizer made in 1986," he said. "I keep it because I have not heard a voice I like better and because I have identified with it." He said he once considered using a machine that gave him a French accent, but he did not because his wife would divorce him. But Hawking said he is shopping for a new system because his current hardware is large and fragile, using components that are no longer made. "I have been trying to get a software version, but it seems very difficult," he said. He urged people with physical disabilities not to give up on their ambitions. "You can't afford to be disabled in spirit as well as physically," he said. "People won't have time for you." Hawking ended his lecture saying, "We are getting closer to answering the age-old questions: Why are we here? Where did we come from?" Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Excellent retirement advice

Excellent retirement advice that seems very logical to share with family and friends:

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

"I Can't Believe I Ate the WHOLE Thing!"

I have to admit, I've eaten more fast food in the past year than in my entire life. I can count on my hands the number of times I've eaten at McDonald's or Burger King or Taco Bell. In fact when I was 17 I got my first job ever at a Burger King. I quit 3 hours after my shift started!

They put my out on the cash register the minute I started and basically told me to "figure it out." Not that it was too tough-- If you've ever worked fast food you know that they make the cash registers with pictures so you don't even need to know how to read to work there. The problem for me was, I had no idea what Burger King served! I had no idea what a BK Broiler was (this experience was made even better since you had to call out over the microphone/PA system what the order was so that everyone knew my ignorance, not just my fellow employees.) Needless to say, I (luckily) was not destined for the Fast Food career path!

Recently though, I've come to utilize the convenience of fast food quite abit. I absolutely LOVE to cook, and I'm darn good at if I don't say so myself. But I can't seem to get excited about cooking for one. Hence, in comes Burger King.

I work alot of hours, typically 50- 60 a week. Last night as I drove by the local BK at 7:45pm I thought "I'll just run through the good ol' BK drive-thru and pick up some dinner." As I drove away from the drive-thru window with my purchase, I opened the bag and started munching on the french fries. What I should say is "crunch" not munch. The fries, though very hot, were almost as crisp as a potatoe chip.

When I got home, I took out my Whopper Jr and unwrapped it. It certainly did not look anything like the big, juicy cheese burger they pictured on the outdoor menu. If fact it was about 1/2 a centimeter tall on one side and and an incch and a half on the other. When I removed the top bun, I saw that all the condiments were stacked very neatly on one side of the cheese burger. Now, I realize that the title "Fast Food" means that they only have a short time to prepare the food before their customers begin to complain, but how much extra time can it take to spread the condiments out over the tiny burger patty? Really?

I don't recommend pulling this concoction of sub-standard meat, bread, and cheese-product apart to look inside. When I did, the flimsy bread of the bun disintergrated in my hand. By the time I put it back together it resembled something like Frankenstein's Monster. The meat just slid out the side of the bun and the condiments that I had tried so diligently to spread out evenly on the burger patty, squirted out the back.

As I was eating this "thing" I thought, how could they serve this garbage and stay in business? But I quickly reminded myself that I, like so many others now a days, am just way too busy to even think about cooking, let alone do it. So the convenience factor weighed in heavily on my decision to go to BK. And furthermore, it did only cost me $4.92 for a Whopper Jr, large fry, and a large soda. Pretty cheap, even for crap.

So until you can go to say, PF Chang's and get dinner for $4.92 in less than 5 minutes in a drive-thru, I will probably go to Burger King again. Or McDonalds or Wendy's; maybe even Taco Bell.

Oh, and yes, I ate the WHOLE thing.

Mondays

http://www.bullshitjob.com/officespace/mondays.wav

To Live

After I put up my last post I got to thinking about that fact that for me, 2007 is about taking chances and living a little. I pulled this off my "Manager's Motivational Moment" shelf and dusted it off:

To Live

Author Unknown

There once was a very

cautious man,

Who never laughed or cried,

He never cared, he never dared,

He never dreamed or tried.

And when on day he

passed away,

His insurance was denied.

For since he never really lived,

They claimed he never died.

Weeeeeee!!!!

Off to Boise again this weekend. And, of course, the weather is not cooperating. I'll be passing through 2 nasty passes on my (hopefully) 4 hour journey. The first, Cabbage Hill or otherwise known as Deadman's Pass ( remember that Journey video with the bus?) had 8" of new snow yesterday. It reminds me of the icing on the doughnut I ate yesterday. It was so fresh it slid right off the doughnut like a pile of sugary slush.

Oofta! Good thing I was raised in South Dakota! Living somewhere where you have to dig your way out your front door in the mornings seems to prepare you for winters anywhere else! But driving in snow, especially in Hyundai, is always a crap shoot. Luckily for me, I have chains! Unluckily though, I'm not looking forward to the crash course I'll be forced to take in putting them on. Especially since by the time you know you need them, it's pretty sh**ty out there!

I hope I make it, otherwise I'm camping in a rest area for the night, and you know how fun that can be.

~"You know Rest Areas are the bathhouses of the 90s?"- There's Something About Mary.

Viva la 2007

I say bring it on! It's now officially the NEW YEAR- and I have to say, even though '06 has been an awesome and adventurous year for me, I'm glad it's over. 2007 just holds too many possibilities of greatness to fear it. So again, I say, "Bring it!"